The path to Tranquility (spring)
52. Relationship is a required course
Relationships are a fundamental element of human society. They involve
interactions and communication between individuals and are necessary
conditions for the overall survival and development. Human beings tend to be
social, and need to be with others to satisfy their psychological needs. A
stable society also requires us to establish relationships based on mutual
trust and respect. These relationships not only reduce loneliness and anxiety,
improve our quality of life, but also help us establish intimate connections
that make us feel happy and fulfilled.
However, if we lack consciousness, all relationships will be based on imagination. Whether it is the relationship with others or the relationship within ourselves, being full of imagination will be unrealistic and may cause confrontation at any time. But our fear of living alone creates a kind of stubbornness, not wanting to change even if the confrontational relationship is not beneficial, and continue to live an unhealthy life.
Stop imagining and we will see the real situation, the so-called friends or enemies are only imaginary. Once we realize that our current relationship is a result of our imagination, we stop being entangled and will step out of our illusions. As long as we stop imagining, most of the fear and stubbornness will disappear.
Every relationship is a required course in life, and we cannot leave without completing it. Before reason can catch up, we cannot suppress our imagination, but can only act based on it. Living with an imaginary person rather than a real person, is an important factor in creating conflict within us, because reality does not match our imagination. To complete the course, we can only let go of egos, observe our imagination and feelings, and cultivate more consciousness and rationality in the relationship.
By focusing on the relationship, we will find that no matter how we imagine, the feelings we get in reality are far from what we imagined. This discovery illustrates a problem: imagination contains expectations, and when expectations are inconsistent with feelings, our egos will not approve of these imaginations, which not only prevents us from imagining in a positive direction, but also makes imagination chaotic.
When the chaotic imagination finally stops, consciousness re-dominates the mind, and we understand the truth about relationships, this course is officially completed, and we are ready to start the next stage.
Looking back on old relationships, perhaps we will understand that relationships filled with imagination will never be true connections. In a true connection, we do not need expectations, and all feelings are consistent with consciousness. We also do not need so much imagination because this connection itself has a strong attraction. In a true connection, we only need to live well in the moment, and jointly create a better life and a beautiful future.
Except for the mother-infant relationship, all other relationships are cultivated from our relationship with ourselves. This is because the time of physical alone is psychologically the time for multiple egos to get along with each other. Only by coordinating the primary and secondary relationships between each ego or establishing equal relationships can we have a peaceful state of mind and true ability to be alone. The most thorough approach is to find our true selves and interact with others under the guidance of this true self. In this way, we can establish relationships with deep connections.
51. Satisfaction comes from learning and progress
53. Consciously enter the inner world
