The path to Tranquility (spring)
52. Complete the required course for improve relationships
Relationships are the bridge for interaction and communication between people, and also meet our needs for understanding and support. This connection not only helps individual growth, but also provides a powerful driving force for the survival and development of the entire society. In every genuine and strong relationship, trust and respect always play an important role. At the beginning of life, mother is the source of the first relationship, but as we grow up, we also need to learn to establish new relationships and constantly improve them.
When building relationships, we often unconsciously project our expectations onto others, forming an idealized relationship model. However, this beautiful imagination is often far from reality. For example, we may envision a strong and lasting friendship, but the other party may not share this understanding and commitment. This mismatch between expectations and reality often leads to disappointment, loneliness, and causes anxiety.
In fact, whether it is our interactions with others or our own inner dialogues, over-reliance on idealized imagination will inevitably deviate from reality and ultimately cause conflict and friction. At the same time, our fantasies of loneliness can also cause fear, leading us to become more dependent on relationships. Not only does this obsession undermine our motivation to seek change and growth, but even when we know that a relationship full of confrontation and discord is harmful to us, it is still difficult for us to escape this unhealthy state of life.
When faced with complex interpersonal relationships, we need to let go of unnecessary fantasies. Only by realizing that our interactions with others must be based on reality and not influenced by personal fantasies can we truly improve our connections with each other. Only by bravely facing and accepting our emotional needs and abandoning the attitude of denial and avoidance can we move towards growth. For example, in family life, when we learn to express our true feelings and opinions honestly, rather than relying on the tacit understanding and understanding of others, it is easier to gain mutual satisfaction and trust.
Once we learn to get rid of fiction and fantasy, we will find that so-called friends and enemies are often just images projected in our minds. Such an understanding can help us avoid having ideas that lack factual and logical basis, and make our minds clearer and more rational. We are also able to more effectively break free from emotional behavior patterns and build more stable and healthy relationships.
Improving interpersonal relationships is an essential course in the growth process. Only by truly mastering this course can we establish effective and beneficial connections. When our consciousness is not mature enough to proactively handle relationships, our behavior is often controlled by emotions and we have to rely on fictional images. Because of this, we should learn to accept coexistence with imagined others in our minds and the conflicts that arise from it. This process not only helps us break through our own limitations, but also encourages us to understand the needs and feelings of others, and ultimately cultivate a more rational and conscious interaction pattern.
When faced with complex interpersonal relationships, we need to let go of unnecessary fantasies. When we realize that our interactions with others must be based on reality and not influenced by personal fantasies, we can truly improve our connections with each other. If we want to become mature, we must bravely face and accept our emotional needs and abandon the attitude of denial and avoidance. For example, in family life, when we learn to express our true feelings and opinions honestly, rather than relying on the tacit understanding and understanding of others, it is easier to gain mutual satisfaction and trust.
Therefore, a deep understanding of our inner multiple selves can help improve our art of getting along with others. Everyone has different sides of their heart, and these sides will show unique styles in different occasions: in the workplace, we may appear rational and calm; when we are with friends, we are relaxed and humorous; and in the family, we are more likely to show our vulnerable and dependent side. These characters express our true need for human connection. However, the existence of these multiple selves confuses our values and behavior patterns, thus hindering our growth.
Inner conflict often stems from conflicts between multiple selves. For example, an employee may need to demonstrate professionalism and cooperation at work, but must use a wider range of communication skills and strategies when facing management. The psychological burden brought about by this repeated role switching often makes him feel exhausted and even suppresses the natural expression of his true self. Therefore, recognizing and accepting the existence of different selves is an important starting point for maintaining emotional balance and promoting mental health.
When we are alone, even though there is no one around us, we are still having self-dialogue in our hearts. At this point, we may find that the voices of some selves are too strong and mask the expression of other selves. By adjusting the priorities of each self, or allowing them to communicate equally, we can regain inner harmony. This ability to balance oneself is a solid foundation for developing healthy interpersonal relationships.
By analyzing our own hearts, we can see more clearly that we and others all desire support and encouragement. When we truly understand each other's strengths and limitations, we naturally tend to build equal and sincere relationships instead of having unrealistic expectations of others. For example, when we confide our inner struggles to a friend, this awareness tells us that everyone’s experiences and feelings are different and that we don’t need to force sympathy and understanding on our friends. This not only helps maintain friendships, but also helps develop our empathy.
All external relationships actually originate from the interaction between our multiple inner selves. The real connection is the tacit understanding and resonance of the mind, while external communication is just a manifestation of the inner connection. In a healthy relationship, we don't need to rely on fantasy to increase attraction to each other because real communication has already connected our hearts. We can let go of our own stubbornness and expectations and focus on mutual understanding and support. Having such a relationship allows you to understand yourself and others more comprehensively and truly, driven by positive emotions.
Looking back at the growth of our interpersonal relationships, we will be surprised to find that those connections that come from sincere interactions and spiritual resonance are the key to lasting satisfaction and self-confidence. In such spiritual exchanges, we not only realize our common vision, but also find solid support for our future life. Therefore, by completing this course on how to improve relationships, we can continue to surpass ourselves in our life journey and create higher levels of freedom and happiness.
51. Satisfaction comes from learning and progress
53. Open the door of wisdom from within
