The path to Tranquility (spring)
46. Only true love can bring true fulfillment
Whenever night falls and all is silent, those age-old questions echo in our hearts: "Who am I? Why am I alive? How can I achieve eternal life?" This isn't just a rational exploration; it's a call from the depths of our soul. When we shed social roles, wealth, status, and the daily hustle and bustle, and face our true selves nakedly, we discover that no amount of material wealth can fill the emptiness within. On the contrary, the more material possessions we have, the deeper our longing for true fulfillment, as if we were trapped in an endless pursuit.
Scientific research has long shown that after the initial excitement of lottery winners wears off, happiness often quickly returns to its previous level. This phenomenon reminds us that material satisfaction is fleeting, like a mirage. True contentment stems from deeper life experiences and deep connections with others. These connections, like the roots of the tree of life, provide support and nourishment for our survival.
Humans are endowed with free will, a gift from nature, yet also a heavy burden. It grants us the right to choose, but also brings responsibility and loneliness. We cannot escape this truth of life, but we can choose how to face it. Escape only deepens helplessness and emptiness, for we see no real way out except death. Only through courageous exploration can we find hope.
Faced with the emptiness in life, we can choose different ways to cope: by devoting ourselves to material pursuits, seeking wealth and achievement, or by engaging in spiritual creativity, exploring art, philosophy, and science. However, without a deeper sense of meaning, these endeavors still fall short of satisfying our inner longings. Material satisfaction may seem to temporarily alleviate the anxiety of emptiness, but once those needs are met, the spiritual longing intensifies. Life is ultimately finite. Even at the peak of our careers, if we neglect our deepest needs—a deeper understanding of ourselves and the meaning of life—we often feel lost.
The root of this emptiness often lies in ignorance of self. Without a clear understanding of who we are, we lose our way, drifting with the tide; without a clear goal, we lose our way, like lost sheep. To answer both of these questions, we need a mirror that reflects not only our outward appearance but also reveals our spiritual essence and its relationship to the world. This mirror is mutual love, which alone can reflect the direction of our inner flow.
Psychological research shows that mutual love is a core pillar of happiness and life satisfaction. People in truly close relationships are happier, more psychologically healthy, and even live longer. Mutual love can enhance our sense of self-worth, alleviate loneliness and depression, and make us more resilient to life's challenges. A lack of mutual love often leaves us lost, like a lone boat sailing at sea.
So, which of our emotions can truly be called mutual love? Family affection is only a prototype, like the soil that deeply buries the seeds of true love. It is one-way, and differences in family circumstances often hinder the germination of true love. As we grow, friendship teaches us how to love, allowing the potential seeds to germinate and grow. Friendship is like rain, nourishing the soul, but it can also lead to dependence and various conflicts. When friendship is sublimated, it can encourage the flower of romance to bloom, adding more color to life.
However, romance is merely an upgraded version of friendship. While it can ignite passion, it is also fragile and fleeting, easily eroded by the trivialities and trials of daily life, leading to its decline. Consequently, it often creates a greater emptiness in the heart, an unspoken sense of loss. For mutual love is not a fleeting emotional impulse, not the blooming of a flower, but the ripening of the fruit of self-love. It represents a true love that transcends form and penetrates to the essence of the relationship: a profound understanding and acceptance of each other.
Without true love, we are like homeless wanderers, constantly demanding but never finding satisfaction. This emptiness isn't just a spiritual deprivation; it's a threat to both body and soul. Excessive pursuit of material things can lead to physical imbalance and even damage health. While science has enhanced our ability to acquire material things, it cannot replace true love: understanding ourselves, giving to others, and building truly meaningful connections. Newton once lamented, "I can calculate the motions of the heavens, but I cannot measure the madness of the human heart." Only true love can penetrate the depths of the soul, revealing the loneliness behind madness and offering comfort and hope.
From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, emotional connection promotes survival and reproduction and is our instinct and habit. However, true love represents a higher level of awakening and transcendence. It is no longer a form of emotional dependence, but a conscious force that transcends the self. It manifests itself in our proactive care, understanding, and support for others, connecting our own consciousness with that of others, and ultimately realizing the meaning and value of life.
True love embodies the highest freedom. When we are no longer isolated islands but connected shores, this coexistence allows us to experience the depth and breadth of life. Through sharing, two distinct lives intertwine into a more complete whole, elevating consciousness and enriching matter. By resonating with another soul, we become part of a broader network of consciousness, gaining more time, space, and creativity, achieving deeper focus and ease, and co-creating a better future.
In true love, relationships are no longer those of a distant "me and him" or a conflicting "me and you," but rather of an intimate and harmonious "me and me." Reconnecting with ourselves through the soul of another, we merge with one another, affirming each other's existence and recognizing each other's value. True love is wholehearted giving. In this mutual giving, we transcend our own imperfections and experience inner abundance. This is both an emotional transcendence and a rational choice, reflecting our deep love for life and our deep commitment to our own existence.
Practicing true love doesn't require complicated rituals or difficult sacrifices. Mindfulness and self-reflection can help us gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and increase our empathy for others. Through genuine communication—listening, sharing, and being vulnerable—we can build deeper connections and allow love to flow. Helping others and participating in charitable causes not only strengthens our connections but also deepens our sense of purpose. A truly loving person expresses affection with a warm smile or a look, and offers a helping hand in times of need. The influence of true love is like the gravitational pull of stars, supporting each other and releasing tremendous energy together.
From the soul's perspective, true love is rooted in emotion, shaped by our consciousness, and represents a redefinition of life, a new way of coexisting and sharing. It enables us not only to "live" but also to "live meaningfully." Only true love allows us to choose tenderness and firmness in the face of life's limitations, cultivating wisdom and courage. True love brings true fulfillment, allowing us to understand that we are part of the universal consciousness. Through true love, we sow the seeds of truth, goodness, and beauty in the world, transcending the limitations of life and returning to our eternal cosmic home.
45. Build a true home for the soul
47. Destiny is created by ourselves
