The path to Tranquility (spring)
27. Observe and understand emotions
Emotions are an important source of information for us to perceive the world. They affect our thinking, behavior, and physical and mental state. Emotions can bring positive motivation or trouble, depending on how we view and guide them. Being good at using emotions can not only deepen our self-awareness, but also improve our adaptability to the environment and the quality of life.
Emotions are a combination of physiological reactions (such as increased heart rate and muscle tension), psychological feelings (such as joy and fear), and environmental factors (such as stress and interpersonal interactions). For example, nervousness before a public speech may cause the body to sweat and have an increased heart rate, which is the result of the interaction between environmental stress and evolutionary survival mechanisms. Although these reactions originally helped avoid risks, in modern life, they may hinder our judgment and actions due to misunderstanding or excessive stress.
Emotions often reflect our subjective imagination of real situations rather than objective judgments. For example, an unintentional comment may cause anger, but in fact it stems from our speculation about other people's intentions. Understanding the illusory nature of emotions can help us gain insight into our true situation and reduce the interference of emotions.
We don’t need to rush to judge our emotions—thoughts like “I shouldn’t be sad” or “It’s wrong to be angry” only trigger greater emotional fluctuations and even lead to uncontrolled behavior. Learning to simply observe the emotion—noticing the feeling of heaviness in the shoulders and tightness in the chest when we feel frustrated—and wait for it to subside is actually an important way to achieve inner stability.
A practical technique is to simplify emotions into neutral labels such as "Emotion A" and "Emotion B". This can help us detach from emotions and observe the changes in emotions without being affected by them. For example, if we feel frustrated because of a failure at work, we can name this emotion "Emotion A", observe its physiological and psychological manifestations, and focus on problem-solving actions through breathing and reflection. In this way, we can gain opportunities for growth in setbacks.
When we encounter disputes in the family, if we can name anger as "emotion B" and express our needs rationally (such as "I need more support"), we can not only resolve the conflict but also deepen mutual understanding. We can regard emotions as a kind of pressure that prompts us to express ourselves and make it a bridge of communication in interpersonal relationships.
Behind happiness and sadness, there are often subconscious desires. Happiness represents our desire to keep good things, while sadness is a resistance to loss. The disappointment of missing a promotion actually reflects our desire for success rather than our current needs. When we shift our focus to appreciating the present, the direction of our emotions changes.
Through practice, we can give emotions the most neutral names and observe their flow and changes in the body and imagination (such as stomach contractions, images of worries about the future). In this way, we can stand in the perspective of controllers and guide the development of emotions instead of being bound by them.
Emotions often lead us away from the fundamental goal of life - survival and reproduction. Sometimes we overemphasize emotions, blindly following or amplifying them in pursuit of short-term psychological satisfaction. Excessive fear may make us avoid the challenges of growth, and excessive excitement may make us ignore risks. Only by learning to master our emotions can we truly master life and fully grow and experience the world in life.
To truly master our emotions, we can record the events that trigger our emotions every day, identify our emotional patterns and rules, and then analyze them rationally. We can ask ourselves: "Is this anger really helpful in solving the problem?" and improve our emotional resilience through conscious and focused physical activities, deep breathing, or sharing our feelings with trusted people.
When we can calmly feel our own and others' emotions, interpersonal interactions will be more rational and clear. Each emotion has its own meaning; sadness reminds us to cherish, anger inspires change, and happiness inspires creativity. Experiencing rich emotions under the shelter of consciousness and connecting with others through emotions is an important way for us to move towards freedom and happiness.
Emotions are a test of life, but they are also a gift. By learning to observe them neutrally, understand their nature and manage them, we can perceive our desires from the fluctuations of emotions, thus transforming emotions into the growth of consciousness. Starting from recording one emotion every day, gradually establishing a healthier relationship with life, we will gradually move towards a richer and more mature consciousness.
26. Let the inner child to grow
28. Love is like clear spring water
