The path to Tranquility (spring)
26. Let the inner child to grow
Deep inside each of us lives a child, the purest essence, the truest self. We are all essentially children of nature and ultimately need to return to the embrace of nature. However, as we grow older, this inner child is often suppressed and neglected, or even forgotten. As a result, we become less happy, less free, and have more stress and negativity in our lives.
From a very young age, we learn to play different roles, such as being a sibling, a good student in school, or a good child in the eyes of our parents. When we play roles we don’t enjoy, we not only feel pressure, but we also have fewer opportunities to do the things we enjoy. In this way, our inner child is suppressed in our subconscious.
Well into adulthood and middle age, our thoughts and behaviors remain immature due to this subconscious influence. If we don’t allow the inner child to grow, we will lack awareness. Childish ideas will encounter setbacks, and childish behaviors will suffer losses, which will force us to re-examine our growth process.
As children, we were not allowed to be ourselves and were required to follow rules. We can't watch too much, can't ask too many questions, have to follow our parents' arrangements, etc. These parenting patterns deprive children of their freedom, suppress their curiosity and creativity, and are the reason why the inner child cannot grow. Therefore, we need to reflect deeply on our own experiences and see what was missing from the roles we once played.
In life we must learn to role-play. Generally speaking, no matter what role we play, as long as there is no conflict and fear, we can play it deeply. Moreover, as long as we try our best to play the role we should play, not only will others appreciate it, but we will also get happiness from it.
However, roles that require repressing emotions are most likely to stunt the growth of our inner child. For example, if as a child we play the role of a hero who must overcome fear and hold back tears, then as an adult we will not know how to express our feelings. In other words, if we are afraid of being laughed at by others and dare not express ourselves, our inner child will also be suppressed.
Maybe we particularly liked certain characters when we were children because we could invest more imagination in them. However, if we are disturbed by various factors and cannot realize our wishes, we will lose that firm self-confidence when we grow up.
The shadow of the subconscious mind is difficult to dispel. We must discover its source and illuminate it with the light of consciousness in order to make it disappear completely. We can go back into our inner past and play the role of a child again, reliving the feelings of the inner child. But we must experience it consciously and fully in the presence of the right people (such as loved ones). If we can complete the performance successfully, we can get rid of the shadow of the past.
After the performance, we will have a deeper understanding of our own childish thoughts and behaviors. We no longer use emotional expression as a tool of resistance, but instead use peaceful and rational methods to achieve our wishes. As the inner child grows, we become truly mature and independent, and are able to protect our own lives stably and reliably.
The child within us represents our original sense of self. Our bodies, instincts, emotions and habits cannot represent ourselves, only consciousness can. Therefore, allowing the inner child to grow is allowing our consciousness to grow. As long as we maintain our innocence and increase our consciousness, we can continue to progress.
25. Emotions are like kaleidoscope patterns
27. Being an observer of emotions
