The path to Tranquility (spring)
26. Let the inner child to grow
Everyone has an inner child, which is our purest essence and our most
authentic self. We are essentially children of nature. But as we grow older,
our inner child is often suppressed, ignored, or even forgotten. The result is
that we become less and less happy, less free, and have more and more stress
and negative emotions in our lives.
As children, we learn to play different roles, such as being a sibling, a good student in school, or a good kid to our parents. When we play a role we don’t like, not only do we feel pressured, but we also have less opportunity to do the things we like, and our innocence is suppressed in our subconscious.
As we enter adulthood and middle age, due to this subconscious influence, our thoughts and behaviors remain immature because our inner child has not been allowed to grow. Childish thoughts lead to continuous setbacks, while childish behavior leads to suffering losses repeatedly, these force us to reflect on our growth process.
When we were children, we were not allowed to be ourselves, but were required to follow the rules, not to look and ask more questions, and had to obey our parents' arrangements, etc. These discipline patterns deprive freedom and suppress curiosity and creativity, which can be the reason why the inner child cannot grow. Therefore, we need to deeply understand our own experiences and see what is lacking in the roles we have played.
Role playing is something that must be learned in life. Generally, no matter which role we play, as long as we don't resist and have no fear, we can deeply embody it. For those roles where we have no choice, as long as we try our best to devote ourselves to it, not only will others appreciate it, but we will also gain joy from it.
However, those roles that require us to suppress our emotions, are most likely to hinder the growth of our inner child. For example, becoming a hero who must overcome fear and hold back tears, will cause us to not know how to express our feelings when we grow up, or not dare to express them for fear of being laughed at by others, causing the inner child to be suppressed.
Perhaps we particularly liked certain roles when we were young because we could put more imagination into them. If we were unable to fulfill our desires due to various factors at the time, then we will also lose that firm self-confidence when we become adults.
The shadow of the subconscious is difficult to dispel, and we must discover its source and shine the light of consciousness on it, so we can make it disappear completely. We can let our inner selves go back to the past and play child again, but we must do it with awareness, in front of appropriate people, such as a lover, and with full devotion. If we can perform successfully, we can get out of the shadow of the past.
After the performance, we will be more aware of our childish thoughts and behaviors, no longer using emotional expression as a tool for resistance, but using peaceful and rational means to realize our wishes. As the inner child grows, we become truly mature and independent, and able to securely maintain our own life.
25. Emotions are like kaleidoscope patterns
27. Being an observer of emotions
