The path to Tranquility (summer)
90. Observing thoughts to discover and solve problems
Our minds are like busy roads, the memories, desires, habits, and countless
other thoughts, like a ceaseless stream of traffic. Without effective traffic
rules, the road becomes chaotic and dangerous. Similarly, if our minds are
entangled with distracting thoughts, our lives cannot be stable. Therefore, we
need to understand these thoughts and focus on solving a problem every time we
think, so that we can have a calm state of mind.
Emotions can be calmed by observing where they are coming from and where they are going. Thoughts are the source of emotions, so we can understand them in the same way. We can imagine thoughts as vehicles on the road and place ourselves in the position of observers. Without judging the speed of the vehicles, just recording their movements, we can establish a set of "traffic rules". These rules are the consciousness of the observer, which can help us reflect on ourselves and the environment, and replace distracting thoughts with organized thinking.
For example, we wake up in the morning and suddenly remember the argument with our partner last night, feeling depressed. We use the above method, observe this thought, and look for its source. We recall the cause of the argument and realize that we need to improve our communication methods. We then stop doubting or guessing about our partner, and focus on how to then improve communication, and talk to our partner calmly.
From the above example, it can be seen that distracting thoughts are all triggered by unfinished things, reflecting that there are still unresolved problems in our hearts. If these problems are not handled well, these thoughts will cause negative emotions and constantly interfere with our thinking. Therefore, when we realize that a new thought suddenly appears, our first step should be to understand its content. For those irrelevant thoughts, we can accept it and then no longer pay attention to it. If the problem reflected is more important, we should think about the cause of the problem and the solution. Through observation, understanding our thoughts, and then thinking about and solving the problem, we can avoid the appearance of more distracting thoughts and restore calmness to our minds.
In the process of observing distracting thoughts, we should focus on understanding, not judging. If we judge and lean towards a certain thought, such as thinking "this idea is too good, I want to adopt it", or thinking "that dream is too beautiful, I must pursue it". In this way, our thinking or imagination will be taken to a farther and more illusory future, and more thoughts or imaginations will appear, and the observation of thoughts will stop. Or we think "this idea is immoral, I shouldn't think so". In this way, different moral values in our hearts will conflict. When our thinking needs to calm down internal conflicts, not only does the observation cannot continue, but more distracting thoughts will appear. It can be seen that whether we agree or oppose a certain thought, it will hinder the progress of observation and make the state of mind confused.
Therefore, for distracting thoughts, we should only be an observer and should not follow it. This is because, without following any thoughts, it means that we have no goals to achieve, and there will be no conflicts between goals. There is no good or bad thing, we don't need to hesitate between good and bad. Conflict and hesitation will consume our vitality and interfere with our observation. Only through gathering information and raising consciousness can we become more focused.
Observing distracting thoughts is to better understand and cope with our environment, because misunderstandings of the environment will have a long-term impact on life. For example, when we choose a partner from two people, if we keep imagining the situation of living together in the future, we will waste time in hesitation and even make the wrong choice. Because everyone has advantages and disadvantages, our imagination will magnify certain qualities, making choices more difficult and prone to errors. Therefore, we should focus on observation and deeply understand ourselves and others. When we realize our emotional tendencies and real needs, we can make rational choices. In the above example, our wisest decision may be to give up the choice. This is because, when we choose between two options, it means that neither of them fully meets our hearts, and we cannot establish the partner relationship with a consistent body and mind. This example also shows that by accurately understanding the distracting thoughts, we can make wise decisions.
If we observe with consciousness, we will gain more consciousness. This can help us stay calm in a chaotic environment and enhance our ability to cope with the environment. Sufficient consciousness allows us to concentrate on thinking and make the most beneficial decisions. When we have the consciousness of the observer and choose to observe instead of chasing thoughts, our thinking will become clearer. In this way, we can see our true needs clearly. No longer tempted by desires, no longer bound by habits, we can make accurate choices and act in the freest state.
89. Reliance is the foundation of a good relationship
