The path to Tranquility (summer)
89. Reliance is the foundation of a good relationship
Reliance is composed of trust, respect and dependence, and is essentially a
kind of self-confidence. We believe in our own consciousness and abilities,
and then believe in others and the world. Reliance is not only a manifestation
of individual independence, but also a full manifestation of self-protection
ability. Therefore, if we have reliance we will not feel inferior.
If we have enough reliance, we will no longer resist but accept everything and consciously interact with our environment, bravely experiencing love and intimacy. However, cultivating reliance is not simple because we grew up in an environment that lacked a sense of security, and it is difficult for reliance to arise naturally. We need to learn to let go of our defenses and control, open our hearts to understand everything about others, so that we can develop reliance gradually.
Reliance is based on understanding, not blind believing. Blind believing can cause us to be deceived and suffer physical and mental damage, which is why we must always be on the defense. But our defenses only work before building relationships, so we should only build relationships with people we truly trust. If we are defensive towards each other after building our relationship, it will be like two hedgehogs walking together, making it easier for us to get hurt. When building a relationship, we should keep in mind that a relationship lacking reliance will inevitably become negative and should be reversed or terminated promptly.
Once a relationship is established, that kind of reliance that comes from the heart becomes very important. It's like opening the door to let a friend into the house, a thief might sneak in too. Therefore, those who are cautious often keep the door closed. But in order to guard against thieves, friends will also be kept away, and we will lack friendship as a result. In fact, we don’t need to fear and close ourselves off, because things that belong to us will not be lost, and things that do not belong to us will always leave. With this understanding, we can open our hearts with confidence.
When we have experiences that open our hearts, we can overcome our fears of intimacy, establish reliance, and discover that our inner treasures won't be easily taken away. For example, we reminisce with each other and describe our experiences to each other in detail. We realize that our self-esteem, sense of control, and sense of security still exist, and our confidence has increased greatly. And, the more we open up, the more we build reliant and loving relationships. We will eagerly want others to enter our hearts and help us express everything inside.
Reliance reflects the full cooperation of each other's emotions and reason, so it is the foundation of a good relationship. We have confidence in each other's abilities, respect each other's freedom, and rely on each other's help. With reliance, we can love each other sincerely, build a true connection, and let each other's giving become a pure gift rather than an offering driven by fear. Therefore, when we have reliance on our partner, we no longer need to please each other to get attention, but can safely develop careers or interests that benefit each other.
Reliance helps to communicate better. When we realize that others won't fabricate or hide the truth, we can be honest with each other and deepen mutual understanding and respect in communication. When communication is smooth, we will be more willing to help each other, establish a more practical and solid cooperative relationship, and make each other closer. This will make us feel more relaxed, secure, and comfortable. Therefore, reliance can help us establish a reassuring environment and be willing to invest more emotion and time in relationships.
Reliance also has a practical function. It can help us eliminate doubts and suspicions, and eliminate negative emotions and evaluations of others. In the process of interaction, reliance allows us to respect other people's consciousness, listen to and understand others, and view different opinions and conflicts positively instead of being eager to blame others. This way of interaction can make relationships healthier, harmonious and balanced.
By reviewing each other's experiences and appreciating each other's contributions, we will gain enough confidence in the relationship. When we understand our genuine needs, we will know that life exists through mutual dependence. Therefore, only by mutual reliance can we have successful relationships and enjoy a happy life with love.
88. Living out a wonderful life
90. Observing thoughts to discover and solve problems
