The path to Tranquility (summer)
85. Allowing children to express themselves authentically
Children are the future of society, and in the next few decades, they will
live in the same world as their parents. Their thoughts, feelings, and
creativity will also affect their parents' living environment. Therefore,
allowing children to express themselves authentically and cultivating their
respect, tolerance, and self-confidence from a young age is very beneficial
for both parents and children.
The family is the primary environment in which children grow and form their own identities. Each child's physique, personality and talents are different. Under normal circumstances, parents may favor a certain child, but children are also very sensitive and quickly perceive whether they are being ignored. If ignored, they can become jealous and defensive. This is a common negative psychology, which is not a big problem in itself, but when parents demand obedience from children and do not allow them to express their dissatisfaction, children's jealousy and defensiveness will take root in their hearts.
If children are allowed to express themselves authentically, they may challenge their parents' authority and conflict with their siblings, but the release of this emotion helps them regain psychological balance. In some cases, when a younger sister complains that her older brother hits her, if the parents only reprimand the older brother, it will provoke him to retaliate against the younger sister. But if the older brother is encouraged to express his feelings, the parents may discover that he feels neglected and hit his younger sister out of jealousy. Through mediation, the sibling relationship will improve, which shows that allowing children to express their true feelings can improve their interpersonal relationships.
However, parents often do not allow their children to express themselves authentically. When children quarrel, parents reprimand the children and ask them to be quiet, or immediately impose corporal punishment on the children when there is a fight, causing the children's jealousy and defensiveness to evolve into anger and be suppressed deep inside. This anger can have a serious negative impact on intimate relationships in adulthood. But by then, the anger has caused pain, and the child is forced to reflect and relearn how to get along with others.
Allowing children to express themselves authentically can help problems be discovered and solved early, which is very beneficial for children's growth. Eliminating the seeds of negative psychology such as jealousy and defensiveness from a young age, or removing the soil that allows them to grow into anger, children will be able to develop a complete personality and stable interpersonal relationships in the future, have more energy to create new things, and have more happy times. Most importantly, this allows children to have a free mind, without developing a dictatorial ego.
This not only requires parents to understand and accept their children's interests and talents, and respect their nature, but also requires parents to provide their children with an environment free of arrogance and discrimination, allowing them to express their needs freely. Of course, parents also need to encourage and guide their children on how to express effectively, how to deal with their own emotions, and how to respect and understand others. This also requires introducing an open communication model within the family.
Parents can adopt an open society model and vote to decide things or order in family life, such as food or sleeping time, etc. And in the voting process, let children fully explain their intentions, so that they learn to understand their own and others' choices. This practice becomes even more important when there is a conflict of values among family members. When a child exhibits domineering and bullying behavior, parents must make a fair judgment and punishment with other family members in time, and explain the reasons, so that children can adapt to the way society operates as early as possible. In general, a reasonable family operation mode is beneficial to children and parents, both now and in the future.
Allowing children to express themselves authentically reflects parents' views on freedom and is a very important first step in building a free society. Society is like a big family, and views on freedom will be reflected in the system. When everyone can express their views and feelings without worry, society can integrate the wisdom of everyone, become a collective with consciousness, and effectively play the role of protecting individuals. The positive impact of freedom on social development has been confirmed from nearly a hundred years of human practice. Only with freedom can we have an ideal living environment, and a free family is the prototype and foundation of a free society.
Therefore, allowing children to express themselves authentically is preparing for social development. This requires parents, educators, and other social members to work together to create a free, open, and inclusive growth environment for children, help them establish mutual trust and equal interpersonal relationships, and show unique potential. Children will also become parents of others, when they are allowed to express themselves authentically, they will also allow their children and others to do the same. Then, a healthy and free society will continue to be passed down.
84. Taking responsibility for our life
86. The beauty brought by breeze and love
