The path to Tranquility (summer)
83. Listening brings us beautiful and fulfilling relationships
We all long for abundant harvests in life, especially a beautiful and
fulfilling interpersonal relationship. However, we may overlook a crucial
quality: listening. In interpersonal relationships, listening plays a very
important role. It is not only an auditory reception of others' voices, but
also an ability to understand and feel others. This means that we can delve
into others' hearts, strive to understand what they want to express, and
feel their emotions. Listening reflects our curiosity. When listening, our
senses and mind become more acute, making others feel our interest in them.
Listening is a stable state of acceptance. In listening, we will not rush to interrupt others' speaking, or make emotional reactions. This state also allows us to maintain sincere attention: if we don't want to listen, we won't pretend to listen, but express our intentions, allowing others to save time and effort. In fact, listening indicates that we have recognized its importance and are wholeheartedly receiving and understanding others' emotional and rational information.
Only by maintaining an open mind can we truly listen. In others' expressions, there must be a lot of important information. Even if others' statements are not clear enough, or there are mistakes in speaking, it can inspire us to improve our critical thinking skills. Listening can make our time more valuable and not miss any useful information. Therefore, once we have experienced listening, we will continue to maintain this open mind.
Listening can also trigger more consciousness , helping us better protect our own lives. Consciousness comes from knowledge, and listening is a quick way to learn knowledge. On the other hand, the world is constantly changing, and listening can enable us to grasp more information and see ourselves through others. From others' information, we can not only stay alert to the environment but also pay attention to our real needs in time. By listening to others' stories or opinions, we can also draw rich experiences and lessons from them, and increase our own wisdom.
Without listening, we can become closed and overbearing, putting ourselves at a disadvantage. If we always think that we are right and others are wrong if they disagree, we will destroy many beneficial relationships. This kind of closed and overbearing is essentially a rejection of others, which can cause many emotional conflicts. The truth of things has many facets, and no one can see the whole picture alone. If others stop expressing because they feel rejected, we will not be able to fully understand others' perspectives, and thus suffer losses or even harm in life.
Here is a little story that illustrates the importance of listening. One afternoon on the road, B saw A coming from the opposite side, and said to A, "I just saw a hole in the road, be careful." When A heard it, he said "Okay, thank you." The next day, B saw that A was injured and asked what happened. A said that he fell into a hole yesterday. It turned out that A saw a small hole on the road that day, so he bypassed it. He thought that such a small hole, B was really making a fuss, but he didn't know that he fell into a big hole after a few more steps. In the story, A did not really listen, which caused an accident, because he just imagined a small hole on the road from B's words, and did not continue to inquire about B. This will also hurt B's feelings towards A, because it wasted his good intentions.
To be a good listener, we need to cultivate concentration, patience, and love, and put down our prejudices and expectations. We also need to learn to use non-verbal information, such as body language and facial expressions. This requires us to learn and practice from various aspects, such as training our expression skills, logical analysis skills, and critical thinking. And in the interaction of relationships, we need to always aim at love, be willing to give more of our life time to others, keep silent when appropriate, and listen to the voices of both hearts in the state of resonance.
In addition, we need to learn to ask open-ended questions and give feedback to ensure smooth communication and truly understand others' perspectives. After all, listening is ultimately most beneficial to ourselves, and it not only allows us to grasp information in time but also allows us to maintain a healthier brain.
Listening also requires the cooperation of compassion and empathy. We should try our best to understand their emotions from the perspective of others and confirm to others. We know that others, like us, want to express their feelings and needs. When we spend time and patience, really listen, it is acceptance and care for others, and respect for them. Therefore, listening can make each other feel a sense of trust, allowing us to grow in mutual support and connect more closely.
In fact, listening is not difficult, but having true and sufficient love is difficult. Facing this difficulty, we need to deeply understand the value of love and its role in protecting life, so as to love ourselves and others. When we do this, listening will become a natural thing.
Overall, listening is an important life skill that we must learn. Even if we only think about the safety of our own life, we need to listen. If we need to establish good relationships and feel the happiness of life, then we need to listen even more. Often listening, we will have a rich harvest in the journey of life, which of course includes beautiful and fulfilling relationships.
82. Judging things with an objective and absolute standard
84. Taking responsibility for our life
