The path to Tranquility (spring)
8. Accepting our true self
In life, we are often under external pressure. We have to play certain roles, conform to certain standards, or follow certain rules. However, if acting under these pressures becomes a habit, we forget who we really are and even fail to accept ourselves.
For example, during a conversation, we may be tempted to end the topic immediately but feel it would be rude to do so. We begin to judge ourselves and worry about our image being tarnished. So we continued the conversation pretending to be interested, said a lot of things we shouldn't have said, and left feeling guilty. In this example, others will notice our hypocrisy, so this behavior will also have a negative impact on the friendship.
Politeness is a pressure exerted on us by the outside world. However, being polite to others and respecting ourselves go hand in hand. So if we don’t want to talk, we can be honest about how we feel. Silence is also an option, but we should not pretend to be interested in the conversation. Pretending is not only lying to others, but also not accepting the true self at this moment.
If we get along with others with this consciousness, we will not make things difficult for ourselves and others. If we don’t want to continue the conversation, we can speak up honestly and seek understanding before falling silent. This will make it easier to get along with each other.
Accepting the true self is a process that cultivates our courage and consciousness. We need to develop a deep understanding of our strengths and weaknesses, our interests and hobbies, and our values and beliefs. At the same time, we also need to learn to pay attention to our true situation and accept reasonable criticism from the outside world. Once negative emotions arise, we also need to accept and comfort ourselves and restore calm as soon as possible.
Being honest with others shows that we have confidence in ourselves and others, so it is a key to accepting ourselves. However, being able to accept other people's true feelings and thoughts means that we truly accept ourselves. It also reflects our respect for ourselves and others, and our understanding that each other is equally important. When we show our true selves everywhere and make it easier for others to understand and support us, this is love for ourselves and others.
