The path to Tranquility (spring)
8. Accepting our true self
We often face pressure and expectations from all sides, and feel like we need to play a certain role, meet certain standards, or follow certain rules. Over-adapting to these external pressures and expectations can lead us to refuse to recognize and accept who we really are.
For example, during a conversation, sometimes we want to end the topic immediately and not talk about it anymore, but we feel it would be rude to do so. At this time, self-judgment begins to appear, causing us to have worries and scruples, afraid that our image will be damaged. As a result, we pretended to be interested in the topic and said a lot of things we didn't mean, and finally left with guilt. This kind of behavior also has a negative impact on friendships because others can detect our hypocrisy, and this adds a liability to our friendship ledger, if we cannot pay off our debt, the friendship might break.
We might be confused, as to why friendships always come and go. We also think we are very friendly, and we don’t realize our problems until we understand the importance of being honest with others. If we don’t want to talk, we can be honest about how we feel. Silence is also a choice, but we should not pretend to be interested. Pretending is lying to others, and lies will always be exposed, which eventually exhaust our sincerity and trust.
If we have this consciousness, we will not embarrass ourselves and others. If we do not want to talk, we can tell others honestly and ask for understanding before going silent. This will make the conversation more relaxed.
Accepting our true selves is a process that requires courage and awareness. We need to understand our own strengths and weaknesses, values and beliefs, as well as interests and hobbies. At the same time, we also need to learn to listen to our inner voice, let go of the outside world's evaluation of ourselves, and not change ourselves to cater to others. When we encounter negative emotions, we also need to accept and be tolerant of ourselves to alleviate the stress.
If we can be honest with others, we can be honest with ourselves. If we can be tolerant of others, we can be tolerant of ourselves. When we achieve these two points, we truly accept ourselves. If we can be honest with others, we can be honest with ourselves. If we can forgive others, we can also forgive ourselves. When these two points are achieved, it means that we truly accept ourselves. This not only reflects our love and respect for ourselves, but also our respect and contribution to others. If we show our true self and make it easier for others to understand and support us, this is also love towards others.
