The path to Tranquility (spring)
8. Know our true self
When we first came into this world, we just followed our body's instincts: we laughed when we were comfortable and cried when we were uncomfortable. At that time, our minds were blank, without complicated distinctions and struggles. As we grow older, we begin to face others and learn to live by their approval. In order to conform to society and gain recognition, we gradually get used to pleasing others and use the outside world's evaluation as the basis for our behavior. All of this seems to be a compromise necessary for survival, but it also unknowingly hinders our pursuit of our true self.
If we always go with the flow and let habits constrain our choices, we will not only ignore our true inner desires, but even lose ourselves. For example, in a conversation, we may be eager to end the conversation, but we are afraid of being seen as impolite and indifferent. So, we try to maintain the conversation and say a lot of words that seem to make the other person happy, but the ending is often accompanied by guilt and confusion. Politeness is indeed an invisible pressure imposed on us from the outside, but when we realize the preciousness of time and dare to express our inner feelings honestly, we can show respect for ourselves and others. Instead of responding hypocritically, it is better to choose silence, because only sincere dialogue can establish a meaningful connection for each other.
It can be seen that knowing oneself first needs to start with accepting the real self - understanding one's strengths and weaknesses, interests and preferences, and even deep values and beliefs. Values are the cornerstone of all our actions and decisions; for example, when we deeply understand our insistence on integrity, we are more likely to choose honesty when faced with temptation, rather than hiding the truth for short-term benefits. It is this self-awareness that enables us to better meet our inner needs when faced with choices, thereby reducing inner tearing and conflict.
At the same time, knowing yourself means understanding and sorting out your emotions and habits. Emotions are a reflection of our inner state, while habits are solidified behavioral patterns. When anxiety strikes, try to stop and explore the reasons behind it: Is it the pressure of life, or the limitations of interpersonal relationships? Then, through deep breathing, short walks, or other self-adjustment methods, we can calm our emotions. This recognition of emotions and habits can not only help us manage ourselves more effectively, but also greatly reduce the psychological burden, making life more real and always under our control.
When facing the fundamental question of "Who am I?", we need to dismantle the various layers that make up the self and let the most real side emerge. We can compare the body to a solar cell, emotions to electric current, and habits to a light bulb that glows when it is powered on. When we observe the brightness and switching of the light bulb, we not only understand the strength and existence of the current, but can also predict sunrise and sunset. It can be seen that our deep understanding and prediction of our own body, emotions, habits, and their relationship with the outside world is the true self.
We can also compare our body to a pond and our emotions to water, so that we are the consciousness swimming in the pond. If we connect the pond to a mountain stream, we will have fresh water, but we must not connect the pond to a sewage ditch. In the clear water of the pond, there are all kinds of creatures, even fish and shrimp. We need to learn to swim so that we can protect ourselves in the water and not drown; then dive into the water and explore the beauty of the clear pond. However, we cannot stay in the water for too long and must surface from time to time to breathe.
To truly know ourselves, we need to open our hearts bravely. Just like facing a mirror, we must first remove the accumulated packaging - they may come from family, society, or traditional value systems. When we peel off layers of disguise, our most flexible and true part will be revealed. This sincere self is not fragile, but the subject of our deep interaction with the world. Only through external responses and understanding from others can we truly complete our self-recognition and form a bright and stable spiritual mirror that belongs to us.
Recalling and reflecting through the mirror of the mind is a shortcut to improving self-awareness. After each failure or setback, when we carefully examine the decision-making process and reflect on the motivations behind the behavior, we can discover our shortcomings and room for growth. This reflection from reality prompts us to gradually approach our true self. We can fully own ourselves, which is the fundamental difference between ourselves and the outside world; even if we reject everything in the outside world, we will not reject our true self. This complete acceptance of the self makes us more determined and calmer when facing the challenges in future life.
When we clearly understand our desires and direction, we are more willing to show our true selves to others. For example, people who love writing and know the power of words are more likely to boldly share their works, rather than hiding their talents for fear of criticism. Self-awareness is not only closely related to one's own life, but also the foundation of loving oneself and others. Having a clear self-awareness allows us to give and receive sincerely, and to know how to respect ourselves and others.
Knowing your true self is not something that can be achieved overnight, but a process of continuous growth. Every encounter in life is an opportunity for us to explore ourselves and rebuild our inner selves. When pressure makes us feel exhausted, we might as well calm down and ask ourselves: "Is this really the life I want?" This question can prompt us to examine our goals and choices, so that our inner freedom and satisfaction can be improved day by day. The true self lies not only in the present existence, but also in how we recognize and foresee our own changes, and how to find our unique position in the interaction with the world.
7. Laughter is full of love, hope and reliance
