The path to Tranquility (spring)
40. Consider the needs and feelings of others
Considering the needs and feelings of others is a very important ability that
can help us establish good interpersonal relationships, allowing us to
cooperate sincerely with each other and live smoothly. In a society where
interactions between people are becoming increasingly complex, it is even more
necessary for us to cultivate this ability.
There are always a lot of troubles and worries in life, but it is difficult for others to know exactly how we feel. Those issues related to our inner selves are truly beyond the help of others. Even if we establish intimate relationships, we cannot push the responsibility onto others. The role of relationships is only to provide some effective assistance in solving problems, and we still need to face our own problems independently.
When we encounter troubles and worries, if we don't know how to take care of others, we will increase the burden on others and weaken their ability to help us. If we do not care about the needs and feelings of others, we cannot understand their situation and emotional state, and therefore cannot communicate and interact with them better. In this way, relationships will regress, or lose their effectiveness, even become negative.
Some negative emotions are caused by problems related to life or work. In addition to singing, exercising, or venting by hitting a pillow, we can also write our troubles on paper to produce a feeling of being seen. If the matter is related to those close to us, we must communicate in a timely manner. We also need to pay attention to whether our emotions will harm those close to us. The emergence of emotions indicates a lack of consciousness, at this time the unconscious word or action can be confusing, and in the minds of those close to us, everything about us is very important.
Others also have their own needs and feelings. If their needs are not met or their feelings are not good, they will also lack the power to help us. In order to better solve our problems, we must also consider others. This can help us find effective solutions more quickly and also avoid conflicts caused by neglecting others.
If we have a negative impact on others, after our emotions have calmed down, we should also know how to ask for forgiveness from others. This is a kind of love for others and also facilitates others to continue to help us in the future. Being able to maintain concern for others in negative emotions indicates that our consciousness has grown. A person with empathy and sympathy will still consider the needs and feelings of others in difficult times.
It is impossible for humans to have no emotions, the only difference is the time it takes to get out of them. If we can regain a calm state of mind and regain sufficient consciousness within a few minutes, it will be easier to consider the needs and feelings of others. We can only cultivate the ability to quickly restore calmness by raising awareness, and other methods are not very effective. Raising awareness also requires learning, thinking, and practice, which is a long-term process.
41. Living peacefully is a test of wisdom
