The path to Tranquility (summer)
93. Unload psychological burdens in time
Our ideal attitude towards life is to lift things up when they should be
lifted up and put them down when they should be put down. Living with such
an attitude, we can not only assume the various responsibilities of life,
but also be less likely to be overwhelmed by life. To lift things up when
they should be lifted up, represents our courage to experience life. To put
things down when they should be put down, represents our wisdom to stride
into the future with ease.
Past experiences are important elements that shape our present and future. Those experiences that once caused emotional fluctuations will be deeply imprinted in our brains and may even affect our entire life. However, not all experiences are positive. Experience derived from fear, such as bad habits or reaction patterns, can become our psychological burdens. This negative experience continues to affect our current emotions and future actions. Therefore, sorting out experiences is extremely important. Only by viewing our own experiences as someone else's stories can we possibly unload psychological burdens.
A small story: A young man carrying a heavy burden crossed mountains and rivers to find a master. "Master, I have suffered great setbacks and pains, and I can't live anymore. Please guide me!" The master asked what was in the burden, and the young man said it was a record of all grievances and sadness. Without saying a word, the master signaled him to lift a small wooden boat by the river. The young man said it was too heavy to lift. The master smiled and said, "This boat can ferry us to the other side, but if you carry it on your shoulder, it will definitely be unbearable." The young man had some understanding. The master continued, "The past grievances and sadness have enriched your life, but clinging to these heavy pasts will sooner or later crush you." The young man finally realized: let go of the burden in our heart, and we will feel unprecedented relaxed and ease.
The above story is simple and clear, and the truth it contains is also obvious, that is, we should unload psychological burdens in time like the young man in the story. However, unloading psychological burden is not easy because it has become part of our heart. We must guide our emotion with reason, let the psychological burden gradually peel off and transform from our hearts, and finally unload it.
The reason why experience becomes a burden is because we refuse to accept it, reject it, and make it heavy. To unload psychological burden, we must find ways to accept our past. In addition, we must first accept the present before we can accept the past. Therefore, living a comfortable and satisfactory life is a prerequisite for unloading psychological burdens. We must do this well before we can start recalling and sorting out experiences.
For example, if we have experienced a physical injury and cannot accept our negligence at the time. In order to unload this psychological burden, we can view the past as a wooden floor in our home, and view experiences as one piece of wood after another. We first find a piece of wood that represents the present. In fact, the present has become the past. We accept this present, that is, we accept our first piece of the past. Then we look at the next piece and other pieces of wood. When we find a painful experience, we can pause and think about a question: without this piece of past, there would be no previous piece of past, so there would be no this piece of present. Why do we accept this piece of present but not those pasts?
When we cannot find a reason to reject the past, it means that we have accepted it intellectually, and all that remains is an emotional issue. In the above example, perhaps we are worried that a situation similar to the past will happen again, so we hope to remember how we felt at that time to alert ourselves. This is a fear that needs to be overcome. Or we harbor resentment and want to take revenge on the person involved at the time, even if that person is ourselves. If so, we should consider whether the consequences of revenge will lead to the loss of our current comfortable life. This approach helps turn resentment into fear and simplify our feelings. When we realize that resentment will make us lose the beauty of the present, it is easier to let go of resentment.
For other examples, such as a project manager who cannot get rid of the shadow of project failure for a long time, the above method can also be used to unload the psychological burden. Examining one's own experiences is the process of using reason to assist emotion and transform the feelings. For example, thinking about the cause of past events, telling ourselves that we have done our best at that time, otherwise we cannot live a satisfactory life now. In this way, we can transform fear and resentment into acceptance and understanding. When our emotion becomes soft enough, painful feelings will be transformed into insights, and we understand that the wisdom of the present can protect life and meet the needs of life. When we trust wisdom, the asking mind will transform into the giving mind, and then transform fear into the courage of giving. In general, the content of psychological burden is mostly fear. Therefore, once we let go of fear, it means that we have unloaded our psychological burden.
Unloading psychological burdens means that we accept all our experiences and our mentality becomes more positive. When we realize that the past self is actually not the current self, our emotions will no longer be affected by past experience. From then on, our emotion is detached from the past and focus on the present feelings. When we no longer pay attention to past experiences, we can give life time to the people and things around us, establish good interpersonal relationships, and actively plan for future life.
92. Combination of emotion and reason
94. Fully enjoying the journey of life
