The path to Tranquility (summer)
81. Fully aware of the power of words
Language is our primary tool for communication, and its power is
immeasurable, with words being the most crucial element. A sentence can stir
up a storm in the heart or calm a tempest. We must realize that every word
is an action and may have consequences. Therefore, we must choose our words
carefully.
Words used to express positive meanings have a positive impact on emotions. For example, saying "We believe we have the ability to do this well" is a word of encouragement that can make people confident. Or saying "We will complete this together" is a supportive word that can make the relationship harmonious. When choosing positive words, we should adhere to the principle of being sincere and not exaggerating.
However, negative words have a more powerful impact on emotions and often become the trigger for relationship breakdown. For example, cooperation may fail due to speaking rudely, or even feelings may be hurt due to quarrels. If we say "I didn't expect you to be so weak", this sentence of criticism uses derogatory words, even if the reason is sufficient, it will hurt the feelings of the person being criticized and make him resist. Especially in intimate relationships, using derogatory words means not accepting the other party. When the other party feels unaccepted, it will be interpreted as not being loved, leading to a regression in the relationship. We can say "your ability in this area is not as strong as in other areas". Not only does this point out the facts, it also makes it easier for others to accept criticism. These examples show that when we choose negative words, in addition to being sincere and not exaggerating, we also need to consider the feelings of others.
On the other hand, words can also be powerfully persuasive. An effective argument can change people's opinions and maybe even change the world. Therefore, when expressing our views, we must ensure that our words are clear and powerful, and that we can accurately convey what we mean. Our views are clear only if we can express them clearly. Words also influence our image because the use of words reflects our thoughts, values and character. Learning to choose our words accurately not only shapes our temperament but also heightens our consciousness.
It is worth emphasizing that words always affect our thinking and actions. If we often use negative words like "can't" or "hard", we will become pessimistic and lack the courage to act. But if we often use positive words like "can" and "easy", we will become more motivated. For example, in tutoring children to learn, if we often say "You can't do like this, it's hard to achieve", this will affect their enthusiasm, but changing to say "You can do like this, it's easy to achieve", will make the child try harder. In other words, words can also affect the achievement of goals, we can use words to support or motivate ourselves and others, to release more potential.
Therefore, before speaking, we can think more. Especially when expressing our own views on things, if it involves subjective imagination or feelings, we can use more words like "maybe" and "possible", so that others have more freedom to think or make decisions. But when we face facts and need to bravely accept them, it is very necessary to use words that express certainty. For example, to admit our mistakes, we can say: "Yes, I understand." To encourage ourselves to correct.
Tone is also a part of words, and we also need to pay attention. Sometimes, we inadvertently use an absolute tone, such as imperative or negative. We may have been accustomed to the absolute tone from our parents since we were young, so we must be alert when speaking to reduce the negative impact of this habit. Giving ourselves a little pause before speaking, we can prepare for what we are going to say and think about the tone we will use, rather than just blurting it out. For example, for some dangerous actions of children, we need to use imperative or negative expressions in order to stop them in time, but at other times we need to use a gentle tone. Expressing with the most appropriate tone can accurately convey our needs or care to others, and make the relationship between each other more stable and relaxed.
Although the habit of using tone is hard to get rid of, as long as we are willing to care about others, we will pay more attention to the tone when speaking, and feel our own words from the perspective of others. Once we use a gentle tone when speaking, we will notice the improvement of the relationship, especially the relationship with partners or friends. Because there is no need to guess other's true meaning of words, it will not often cause conflicts, and each other can live in harmony for a long time.
Generally speaking, in the face of uncertainty in the world, we should use words and tones that express uncertainty to express our perception and acceptance of change. When we face something that exists for sure, we should use words and tones that express certainty to show our firmness and responsibility. The ultimate goal of choosing words is to accurately express our thoughts and feelings, and if chosen correctly, will be a positive factor in the development of interpersonal relationships. Therefore, using the attitude and skills of words flexibly will show a mature wisdom and care for others, and it also means that we are fully aware of the power of words.
80. Sincerely entrusting ourselves to the universe
82. Judging things with an objective and absolute standard
