The path to Tranquility (spring)
56. Ego is the main factor in conflict
The ego is a complex and unique thing that sometimes makes us aware of our
existence, but blinds us to our true needs. Because the ego has many facets,
such as multiple identities and habits, it often leads to conflicts within
ourselves. When we have egos, we also have expectations, but they are
inconsistent with reality, which can create feelings of loss and frustration,
leading to anxiety and depression.
Our relationships are heavily influenced by our ego. Sometimes, we have overcome many difficulties, established an intimate relationship, and finally settled down, but our ego fears peace and always stirs up emotions. Because in a stable life, the ego loses its status, it must create trouble in order to regain control, and maintain a sense of existence.
This is a bit like firefighters who have nothing to do if there are no fires, and may feel that they do not need to exist. Similarly, if life is settled, fear arises in our ego because if this continues, it will be melted away. Good relationships inevitably melt the egos because this is the foundation of intimacy, which is why we are afraid of losing ourselves.
The fear of losing ego, is a major factor of conflict in relationships. Therefore, if we want a long-term and stable relationship, we must handle egos correctly. Each other needs to consciously settle the other's body and mind and find ways to help the other overcome their fears. The most important thing is to understand and tolerate each other, be sincere to each other, cultivate emotional and intellectual reliance, and allow the egos of each other to relax.
Our ego is a great tool for coping with turbulent circumstances, but it is expensive to maintain, and the hard-won relationship may also be destroyed by it. Therefore, after establishing an intimate relationship, we must let our egos enter a dormant state and avoid behaviors that would awaken egos.
When our souls merge and a true "we" appears, and the relationship evolves into a true connection, our egos will withdraw from the relationship. Mind fusion is a state of no-ego, before reaching this state, we need to be vigilant about our egos, and reduce their negative impact on relationships.
In fact, our ego is an incomplete and pathological consciousness that contains many erroneous perceptions, like a dream that is not yet awake. Ego not only leads to conflicts within our hearts or with others, but also leads to psychological disorders. Although we are superior to animals, if we cannot cultivate a complete and healthy consciousness and have a true self, we cannot guarantee a good life.
Having a true self means that we give up habits and excessive imagination and act rationally. It also means that we fully understand our own needs and make efforts to satisfy them. We also need others, so this effort is beneficial to others, can make us more intimate, and greatly reduce the chance of conflict. By replacing the egos with complete consciousness, we will have a peaceful and stable environment.
55. Continuously accepting new things
57. Transcending those Free Birds
