The path to Tranquility (spring)
20. Taking off the shell of the soul
As we grow, we build and maintain a shell for our souls. This shell is like a mask that hides the true face of the mind while protecting it from harm. On the one hand we need to cooperate with others, but on the other hand we always want to keep distance from others.
We want to maintain a perfect image and are always afraid to get close to others, fearing that our masks will be torn off, but we also hope to get understanding and help from others. This can make relationships superficial and leave us feeling exhausted and alone.
One of the reasons why we fear being seen through by others is that we worry about being abandoned by others. But we don’t want to leave others, so we are very conflicted inside. This leads to a lot of anxiety in our intimate relationships. Another reason is that we are worried that others will discover our weaknesses and give others an opportunity to attack. These anxieties and fears trigger conflict, leading to more severe anxieties and fears. Therefore, this vicious cycle ultimately leads to our inability to live consciously.
Keeping distance means fear that the mask will be lifted and the relationship will end. We both like to imagine the unknown, which is one of the reasons why we are attracted to each other. However, once we learn what each other really thinks, it becomes difficult to continue imagining it, knowing that there is a large gap between imagination and reality. If both parties are in this situation, the attraction will gradually diminish. It can be seen that relationships based on imagination are not stable and may cause anxiety or fear.
By overcoming fear and opening up our hearts bravely, we can reduce other people's imagination and misunderstandings of us. If we let others know our true needs before entering into a relationship, we don't have to worry about others getting tired of us. Our soul is not a fixed object either. Not only does it contain a lot of unknown things, but it is also constantly updated, enough for others to explore in their lifetime. Therefore, as long as we treat each other sincerely, we can establish a stable relationship and gain true understanding and respect.
The most effective way to explore each other's souls is to integrate, so we must take off its shell and clear the obstacles to integration. We can be each other's mirror, reflecting you and me, me in you and you in me. In this way, this is not a relationship between you and me, but an ideal "we" state without ego.
However, taking off the shell of the mind is not as easy as taking off the clothes. We need to face our own weaknesses first, be willing to accept criticism and suggestions from others, focus on the here and now, and raise consciousness. We won't lose anything by doing this, but will gain a truly powerful self.
21. The essence of the soul is the same
